


Chasing Fireworks

by TheCookieMonster77



Series: All Your Faves Are Ace [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Asexual Narrator, F/F, F/M, Poetry, Romance, Self-Acceptance, and i have a loooot of ships that fit that description, and they have a girlfriend, miraculace, this works w p much any ship where the narrator is ace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCookieMonster77/pseuds/TheCookieMonster77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You fear</i>
  <br/>
  <i>It will become about her</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Taking a piece of you and making it her flaw</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miikado](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miikado/gifts).



When she says yes  
It's like a balloon in your chest  
raising you to the moon, shooting you through the stratosphere  
Or maybe  
It's like a canopy of butterflies  
wings fluttering to the rhythm of your nerves.  
No, it's like fireworks crackling along your skin  
little fire delights leaving you giddy and tingling  
Or maybe  
It's really all three  
Indescribable explosions of joy  
That you can't quite put words to  
Because yes means she cares  
She cares she cares she _cares  
_ The same way you do

But then-  
A kiss  
A beautiful thing  
or so you've heard  
But when it happens  
It's just lips against lips  
one waxy with chapstick  
the other wet and red from nerves  
Just lips against lips  
and mediocre  
_Mediocre  
_ Wrong wrong wrongwrongwrong

You're a romantic at heart  
A sap  
You gobble up the stories  
Eager  
Thirsting for a story  
Where you're swept off your feet  
Or maybe instead where you do the sweeping  
(It was greed to want both, but you did it anyways)  
And now you wonder if that gluttony  
Is punishing you now  
Because you know what happens in love stories  
explosions of emotions  
warmth in your gut  
fireworks with kisses  
Not the mediocrity your kisses share  
Which everyone knows are signs of doom  
You want her anyways

It scares you  
This lack of fireworks  
You hear whispers that aren't there  
Shadows hissing  
_wrong wrong wrong_  
You still want the fireworks  
or at least you think you do  
No-  
You do  
To be with her you need those explosions  
Bright canopies of-  
_Desire_  
If being with her means needing fireworks  
You'll try every last match you have  
Until something sets them off  
Because you want her  
More than anything you've ever wanted before  
And you never considered they wouldn't be needed

It's only by chance  
And luck  
Lots and lots of luck  
That you discover  
_It_  
Ace  
Ace ace ace ace ace-  
_Asexuality_  
What a beautiful word!  
It says those things-  
_desire_  
_lust_  
_want_  
All those things you never had  
But the stories made vital metaphors for-  
It tells you they aren't needed  
It's a relief  
but terrifying  
You don't know how to navigate the night  
With no dancing lights to guide you  
And you've been setting off sparklers for far too long  
Your eyes can't see in the dark  
Or even see the helpful moon  
But at least those invisible whispers  
The _wrong wrong wrong_  
Are drowned out in the gloom  
And you know you can brave a dark night

You don't know how she'll react  
You fear  
It will become about her  
Taking a piece of you and making it her flaw  
But you know _her_  
Know her kindness  
And selflessness  
You know she wouldn't-  
Or at least  
You think she won't  
But-  
_No._  
You tell yourself that's unreasonable  
And uncharacteristic of her  
You try to force it out of your head  
You're still scared anyways

After weeks  
of gathering every nerve  
scraping together every last will  
You tell her  
It's a bumble of words  
Jumbled and stuttered  
Clunky  
Because your night is still dark  
And your eyes have no light  
You stumble  
But she catches you  
_Smiles_  
Tells you it's alright  
Because she wants _you_  
Not the fireworks  
_You_  
And its like that first "Yes"  
the whirl of butterflies  
the scream of balloons  
the crackles of excitement  
Because she loves you  
And you love her  
And no matter how nice  
You don't need the fireworks  
Especially not  
When they drown out the moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://77-cookies.tumblr.com)  
>   
> 
> I freely admit I have no idea wtf I'm doing when it comes to poetry. Hope you enjoyed it regardless.


End file.
